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Too Poor to Pay Attention: A Deep Dive into Communication
This podcast episode delves into the intricate dynamics of attention and communication, positing that the modern individual is often 'too poor to pay attention.' This assertion, made by Speaker B, serves as a commentary on the socio-economic factors that contribute to our inability to engage deeply with one another. The discussion explores the critical role of listening in fostering respect and trust, with Speaker A articulating the viewpoint that silence is a powerful tool for effective communication. The emphasis on silence is not merely a call for quietude, but rather a profound invitation to engage in mental stillness—a prerequisite for genuine listening. The speakers navigate the complexities of communication, highlighting how selective hearing can lead to misunderstandings and hinder the exchange of ideas. Speaker B underscores the importance of accountability in our listening practices, suggesting that true engagement requires us to confront our biases and preconceptions. The dialogue encourages listeners to consider their own habits of interaction and the societal distractions that inhibit meaningful connections. As the speakers reflect on the challenges of living in a world filled with noise, they advocate for a return to the fundamentals of listening: being present, embracing silence, and allowing space for dialogue to flourish. Furthermore, the episode touches upon the notion that many individuals are reluctant to seek solutions to their problems, preferring instead to dwell in their own discontent. This perspective reveals a deeper societal issue: the tendency to prioritize superficial engagements that provide fleeting gratification rather than investing in the cultivation of profound relationships. The speakers' insights culminate in a powerful call to action, urging the audience to reevaluate their communication practices and to commit to fostering environments where active listening and respectful dialogue can thrive. By doing so, they advocate for a more connected and empathetic society, wherein individuals are empowered to engage authentically with one another.
Takeaways:
- In an increasingly distracted world, individuals often find themselves too poor to pay attention, which affects meaningful communication.
- Effective listening necessitates silence, as it allows one to absorb and understand the conveyed messages without interruption.
- The act of listening builds trust and respect among interlocutors, fostering a more productive exchange of ideas and information.
- Mental silence is crucial for effective listening, enabling individuals to be present and engaged during conversations without preoccupations.
- Many people prefer to discuss their problems rather than actively seek solutions, which can inhibit constructive dialogue and resolution.
- To cultivate better communication skills, one must recognize the importance of both physical and mental silence in conversations.
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Transcript
I'd be surprised when people are not paying attention.
Speaker B:People are too poor to pay attention.
Speaker A:God damn.
Speaker A:Now I' ma just say this, man.
Speaker A:Tarot people.
Speaker A:People gonna blame me for that comment because they're gonna say, rubbing off on you.
Speaker B:Well, this would be a good time if anybody wants to.
Speaker B:I accept accountability for my words.
Speaker B:Always have, always will.
Speaker B:I am on Instagram.
Speaker B:You can reach out to me at BigCat.
Speaker B:Daddy 1, 2, 3.
Speaker B:That's Big Cat Daddy 1, 2, 3.
Speaker B:Just so you know that Taro is the one that said that, not Paul.
Speaker B:And what I wanted to say also, again, that's Big Cat Daddy 1, 2, 3 on Instagram.
Speaker B:And what I wanted to say, everybody behave.
Speaker B:Everybody behave themselves because I'm gonna get accused of taking this off the rails.
Speaker B:So to touch back to what the circumvent and go back to what Paul was saying about being the teacher and people said Paul yells and everything.
Speaker B:Listening builds trust and respect.
Speaker B:Because if I'm being quiet and sitting still, I'm respecting your time and your words and your energy by listening through you.
Speaker B:So you in turn are realizing that he is being mindful and respectful of my words.
Speaker B:So I wait and then I can reply or respond appropriately without interrupting you.
Speaker B:And that is a way of building respect with the person and trust with the words that are being conveyed.
Speaker B:And also through that, you are enabling the sharing of information because it is being received appropriately as the other person is, or explaining things.
Speaker B:So it's an open and free exchange of ideas and a sharing of information through communication, which is something Rafiki touched on, which is very essential with being silent and listening with.
Speaker B:That's a way of communicating.
Speaker B:And also this listening through silence is a way of encouraging collaborative problem solving, which to a degree, perhaps one could say we are doing today with speaking about this because we're talking about effective and efficient communication, which is something I spoke about for a while, but we're getting into the analytics or the logistics of it with listening and silent and respect with one another to have an impact and receive the information that is being bestowed upon us.
Speaker A:Hopefully what you said, but with one caveat or one question on that's assuming a person wants to solve a problem.
Speaker B:That's 100% correct.
Speaker B:Because many people enjoy living in their own misery and deflecting and projecting their problems on to other people without resolution.
Speaker B:So you are 100% correct, Paul.
Speaker B:That is with the assumption or presumption that somebody is looking for a solution to solve a problem.
Speaker B:I agree.
Speaker A:And some of the reason I said that is good and get big.
Speaker A:If you look at the thing silent and listen.
Speaker A:How many people just want to talk about the problem but not actually do anything about it?
Speaker B:Can you listen if you are not silent?
Speaker B:No, I agree.
Speaker C:No listening in silent.
Speaker C:Like Cheryl said earlier, it's nanogram and they go hand in hand.
Speaker C:Like the question he just asked.
Speaker C:Can you listen without being silent?
Speaker C:No, you.
Speaker C:You cannot.
Speaker C:You.
Speaker C:You.
Speaker C:There have to be silence or you have to be silent in order for you to listen to conveyed message.
Speaker C:And not only that, there's.
Speaker C:There's physical silence that the receiver should have.
Speaker C:They should also have.
Speaker C:Mental silence goes back to what y' all was saying about being present in the.
Speaker C:In the conversation.
Speaker C:You can't be thinking about other things or thinking about like.
Speaker C:Like Tara was saying, thinking about what you're going to say next.
Speaker C:You have to be right there with that person when they're speaking word for word.
Speaker C:You may not repeat the entire sentence.
Speaker C:But if we're smart enough, we can follow along with the conversation what's being said, you know, and for those that don't, that aren't smart enough, they pay attention to what they want to pay attention to.
Speaker C:For instance, some of these songs.
Speaker C:Some of these songs is no good, but we'll take the time to learn a dumbass song before we take the time to understand our fellow brother or sister.
Speaker A:What is mental silence?
Speaker A:What is mental silence?
Speaker C:Being they being under.
Speaker C:Being present, basically.
Speaker C:Not thinking about anything else but what's going on.
Speaker A:I was right about to say, if you're thinking, is that mental silence?
Speaker A:Because if what is thinking?
Speaker A:You're actually talking to yourself.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker A:Any thoughts on that?
Speaker A:Terror.
Speaker B:I. I agree completely with that.
Speaker B:I wanted to.
Speaker B:Something mental said.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker B:Resonate.
Speaker B:Resonated.
Speaker B:And I loved it.
Speaker B:He said about when you're speaking with people and they pick and choose parts that they want to listen or hear in a statement or a song or whatever.
Speaker B:We reference that as selective hearing.
Speaker B:Selective hearing.
Speaker B:You're.
Speaker B:You're picking and choosing what you want to.
Speaker B:What you want to hear, something you want to jump on.
Speaker B:Maybe not the complete context.
Speaker B:You change the variables when you take an excerpt of it.
Speaker B:So I love that you said that because that is so true.
Speaker B:When you're saying something and they just take out two or three words out of, you know, 25 words you're picking and choosing.
Speaker B:I love that you said that.
Speaker B:That is so true and.
Speaker B:And happens a lot.
Speaker B:And to go back to what Paul just asked about with mental silence.
Speaker B:Yeah, the voices in your head.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Don't.
Speaker B:Don't listen to the voices in your head.
Speaker B:You're processing what is thinking.
Speaker B:It's pro.
Speaker B:It's violently processing and analyzing information in a constructive manner so that you convey it.
Speaker B:You are able to convey it through words and replying to someone.
Speaker B:That is what thinking is.
Speaker B:So Paul's right.
Speaker B:How many people?
Speaker B:I mean, it's the voice in your head that we can't vocalize because it's internal.
Speaker B:So, yeah, you're thinking.
Speaker B:You're talking to yourself in your head about, you know, whatever it might be, analyzing that situation.
Speaker B:That's what thinking is.
Speaker B:And is that mental silence, which is interesting to.
Speaker B:To be a good listener, you need to first learn how to be silent.
Speaker B:And all of us, I feel, hear and listen to this podcast.
Speaker B:Eventually, you're taught that in kindergarten or even before that, at home with.
Speaker B:In the very beginning, her mentor was talking about being a parent, which we all are, and about with your children.
Speaker B:So to be a good listener, you first need to learn how to be silent.
Speaker B:And we're taught that at a very young age.
Speaker B:And then you pick and choose when you want to implement that as you go through life.
Speaker B:But it is an important lesson that first is taught at home to a degree, from the mom or dad, one or the other, or an aunt and uncle.
Speaker B:Maybe the parents aren't in there.
Speaker B:And then that carries over into kindergarten.
Speaker B:And then in the school with everything where we can't.
Speaker B:We can't interrupt the teacher or the professor, because if we do that in school, what do they do?
Speaker B:And everyone listening to this knows they raise their voice.
Speaker B:Maybe they slam their hand on a table or take an eraser against a chalkboard.
Speaker B:Because when you're not listening to a teacher or a professor and they are trying to help you and educate you to learn something, and you are interrupting them.
Speaker B:You are disrespecting them.
Speaker B:If you're disrespecting them, they're going to raise their voice because their emotion is now invoked from your lack of respect for them because you didn't listen to them, you weren't silent, and you didn't hear them.
Speaker B:And that is why people raise their voice or yell, because they're disrespected.
Speaker B:And many people who know who they are, who can stand in their own truth, will not tolerate disrespect.
Speaker B:Oh, I was over here looking up.
Speaker A:Why do I want to feel, like, feel the need to say thank you to.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker A:I don't know, it's like.
Speaker A:It seemed like kind of threw a compliment at me.
Speaker A:Just.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:But go ahead, Rafiki, go ahead.
