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Confronting the Unwritten Rules of Communication
The conversation engages deeply with the concept of truth within the human experience, emphasizing the significant role of ego protection in shaping individuals' responses to uncomfortable realities. The speakers elucidate how the human psyche employs a range of defense mechanisms, including denial and rationalization, to maintain a favorable self-image. This defensive posture often manifests as a reluctance to confront the truth, leading to psychological tensions that arise when individuals are faced with the prospect of genuine honesty. The act of truth-telling, as discussed, serves to disrupt these protective barriers, instigating a confrontation with the self that many find challenging and, at times, unbearable. The dialogue further explores the influence of societal norms and unwritten scripts that dictate how individuals interact with one another. By likening social interactions to the unwritten rules in sports, the speakers highlight how these implicit guidelines often prioritize politeness over authenticity. The consequence of such social scripting is a culture where superficial exchanges are the norm, thereby stifling the potential for deeper, more meaningful relationships. The speakers argue that this adherence to social conventions not only suppresses individual expression but also contributes to a broader societal reluctance to engage with the truth. Ultimately, the episode calls for a reevaluation of how truth is perceived and communicated within society. The speakers advocate for a movement towards normalizing truth-telling in everyday interactions. By fostering an environment where honesty is not only accepted but encouraged, individuals can begin to dismantle the barriers erected by ego protection and social scripting. This paradigm shift promises to cultivate richer interpersonal connections and a deeper understanding of the human experience, aligning with a vision of a more authentic and empathetic society.
Takeaways:
- The human psyche utilizes various defense mechanisms, including denial and rationalization, to protect the ego.
- Ego protection is a significant factor that contributes to resistance against acknowledging the truth.
- Truth telling disrupts societal scripts, often rendering interactions unpredictable and uncomfortable for individuals.
- Societal norms dictate that people often do not genuinely inquire about one another's well-being during greetings.
- Unwritten social rules can inhibit individuals from expressing genuine emotions, leading to superficial exchanges.
- The act of truth telling can create psychological tension, challenging one's self-image and comfort zone.
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Transcript
All right, now another.
Speaker A:Another way, another.
Speaker A:Another factor that contributes to people's resistance to truth is ego protection.
Speaker A:Ego protection.
Speaker A:The human psyche employs various defense mechanisms.
Speaker A:Denial, rational rationalization, projection, just to maintain a self image.
Speaker A:True telling circumvents these projections, creating psychological tensions inside that person's mind.
Speaker A:And that matrix at that time, would you present somebody the truth?
Speaker A:And so why or why do people deny truth?
Speaker A:Why do they.
Speaker A:You say this and you'll be like,.
Speaker B:Well,.
Speaker A:You know, take this into account.
Speaker A:Take this into account.
Speaker A:Sugarcoat stuff.
Speaker A:Or they, they.
Speaker A:Their response is.
Speaker A:Projection is.
Speaker A:It's all.
Speaker A:It's not because of the truth.
Speaker A:It's to maintain an Their.
Speaker A:Protect their ego from being bruised.
Speaker B:Ain't nothing wrong with a little bruised ego.
Speaker B:That, that.
Speaker B:That'll put a lot of people in their place to bruise some of these folks.
Speaker B:Ego.
Speaker B:They'll sit the hell down somewhere real quick and think about their actions, where they'll stop acting the way they do.
Speaker B:And then conversations like this will get smaller and smaller and smaller until it becomes the norm.
Speaker B:Let's normalize this shit.
Speaker A:Which gets to.
Speaker A:The next reason is that there's a social script.
Speaker A:A social script would be what you just said.
Speaker A:Normalizing.
Speaker A:Would you say?
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:By the way, I don't know if y' all are sports fans, but y' all hear this all the time.
Speaker A:Like in baseball, there's unwritten rules in baseball.
Speaker A:You ain't supposed to, you know, show off when you hit a home run.
Speaker A:You can't flick the bat and all that, man.
Speaker A:That ain't in the rule book.
Speaker A:But just because your ego is all butt hurt.
Speaker A:Cause I just hit a home run off of you.
Speaker A:Strike me out.
Speaker A:You shouldn't have put that pitch there.
Speaker A:I wouldn't have hit it over the park, over the fence.
Speaker B:Tighten up.
Speaker A:Nah, I can't celebrate because you gonna be on the mound with a bruised ego.
Speaker B:This is where I believe people come up with the word conceited or arrogant or bragging or boasting.
Speaker B:I'm celebrating my victory.
Speaker A:If you.
Speaker B:Hey, hey.
Speaker B:My fault.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker B:I caught you sleeping.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker B:The better man won.
Speaker B:Take your to go on over there and lick your wounds.
Speaker B:Think about what you did.
Speaker B:Get back in the gym and come back next time.
Speaker B:A better player.
Speaker A:A better player.
Speaker A:Go practice.
Speaker A:Maybe you'll do better, but.
Speaker A:So society functions the same way as baseball on unwritten rules.
Speaker A:And all you got to do is listen to a comedian speak about society now.
Speaker A:And the unwritten rules of politeness and indirect communication.
Speaker A:Because when a Comedian telling jokes and all of that.
Speaker A:There is a hint of truth in all of their jokes.
Speaker A:And so truth telling actually breaks through these societal scripts, making interactions feel unsafe and unpredictable.
Speaker A:Let me give you example.
Speaker A:When you see somebody, the societal script is when you see somebody and greet them, you say, hello, how are you doing?
Speaker A:That's the side of the script.
Speaker A:The unwritten rule is you're not supposed to really tell that person how you're doing.
Speaker A:That is, that's just a gesture.
Speaker A:People really are not asking you how you really doing.
Speaker B:So we need to find something else to say.
Speaker B:Because now, as the person who is about to tell this person their day, I would be lying if I say, good, but I'm having a bad day.
Speaker A:All right, I'll give you another equipment of that.
Speaker A:When somebody says, hey, how you doing?
Speaker A:The hey, how you doing?
Speaker A:The how you doing Part is equivalent to somebody saying, hey, would you like to see some pictures of my grandkids?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Who really gonna say, nah, man, I don't came to see no kid picture of no damn grandkid.
Speaker B:Somebody who's not afraid to speak their mind.
Speaker A:Ooh, a truth teller.
Speaker A:Okay, but if that truth teller at that moment says, hey, man, I'm not interested in seeing any pictures of grandkids, what would, what would said response be of the grandparent trying to show the picture?
Speaker A:Will that be an open response like, oh, I understand, or would they have an emotional response and calling, you mean?
Speaker A:And all, all of this stuff?
Speaker B:They, they would have the emotional response.
Speaker B:They, they would.
Speaker B:But the responsibility on their behalf.
Speaker B:You don't know what type of day this person having, which was the result of the response you got.
Speaker B:He's having a bad day.
Speaker B:I'm not seeing nobody's grandchild.
Speaker B:I'm not such is in the hospital dealing with such and such.
Speaker B:They say they ain't got that much time to live out your grandkids respectfully.
Speaker A:And what did I say?
Speaker A:What was the last thing I said?
Speaker A:Truth telling breaks the script, making interactions feel unsafe or unpredictable.
Speaker A:And if you respond at that moment like that, that person is going to feel unsafe.
Speaker A:And probably they wasn't expecting that.
Speaker A:I couldn't.
Speaker B:No, they wasn't.
Speaker B:Just like the person who asked the individual how they doing wouldn't expect the how they doing.
Speaker B:Oh, man, I woke up my top flat, come to find out my wife cheating on top of that, you know, all of this other, you know, they were, okay, buddy,.
Speaker A:I got all these problems, but you want me, want me to look at a picture of some kids nestled up in the fireplace, man.
Speaker A:Come on.
Speaker A:Don't you have some work to do?
Speaker B:The boss coming,.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Nah.
Speaker A:Trigger warning.
Speaker A:Trigger warning.
